Off the Cuff

Still trying to figure out what's next for me. That's the problem though. Why do I think I need to figure anything out? I keep defaulting into this state of anxiety that I need to figure out my purpose in life and if I don't figure it out before I turn 50, I'm going to be a sad middle-aged man with heart disease. Since the Programming thing is not working out for me, I've been looking back at my previous interests, particularly photography. I've been trying to find time to play video games and watch movies and Tv Shows. To dive deep and get nerdy about things again. I've been going back to my roots, I think, which is simply to enjoy the stuff that people make and make things myself as well.

But mostly I've been busy "adulting".

I moved to a new apartment that's a little smaller and a little cheaper. You would think you'd learned the lesson that moving is never as easy as one predicts after moving to the 6th apartment in less than a decade. The new apartment while small, is cozy and just perfect for us. The full-time job at the hospital is not the worse job I've ever had. It's a sit down job and it pays the bills, but it's mentally draining and can put you into existential despair if you let it.

I’m hanging in there.

I want to write more like this. Just off the cuff writing, first-take kind of thing. Minimal drafting and editing. I want to write like I'm talking to someone that's really listening to me. That’s interested in what I have to say. Someone that's empathizing and bonding with me.

This is not for you, reader. This is for me.

This is my blog.